Chew on This: Self-Bullying

chew on this Sep 19, 2022

Words can't express the pain I feel after hearing a woman engage in words of self-hatred.

It seems like lately there's an epidemic of self-bullying going on. Maybe it’s commonplace and I've just been extra-observant, picking up on every hurtful word, pinch of flesh, and disapproving glance upon catching her reflection in a window. 

The most disturbing part is that it all comes so natural to the bully, like she's had years of practice. The words roll off her tongue much like an academy award-winning actress who rehearsed her lines hundreds of times until they became part of her.

There’s something very dark about the naturalness of self-bullying. It's worse than if it were coming from someone else, because no one really knows you like YOU know you. And if YOU are spewing words of disrespect, disgust, and ill will towards yourself, well, then you must believe those words to be true. 

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • “I’m so fat!”
  • “Look at these saddlebags!”
  • “I shouldn’t have eaten that…gosh I’m such a pig!”
  • “I have no willpower!”
  • “Look at how disgusting I am!”
  • “I’m hopeless!”

If so, you are the victim of self-bullying.

Let me ask you something. Have you ever told one of your friends they were fat? How about pinching the stomach of a loved one in disapproval? 

Of course not!

Then why are you doing it to yourself?

What makes it OK?

Understand that negative thoughts and self-criticism are like a boomerang—returning to you and manifesting exactly the picture you paint in your mind.

Instead, how about seeing your body as a temple? A place of residence never to be defaced or disgraced. What if, for just one day, you treated your body like a place of worship? Can you imagine the results?

I can.

Just for today, practice a little kindness. Pretend every thought you think about yourself, can be heard by the world.

Just for today, be your own best friend.


And when ugly thoughts creep into your mind or are at the tip of your tongue, ask yourself, “Would I say this to my best friend?”

I think the poet Shane Koyczan said it best:

"If you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer." 



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